” I know people who say all these thing will not happen, who forget what it’s like to be 16 when they turn 17, I know these be all stories someday, and our pictures will become old photographs but right now we’re alive and in this moment I swear we are infinite.”
I woke up this morning to a movie.
A movie I hadn’t heard about unlike the book it was based on. (Ironically! I really do seem like a novel person to people but really I am a movie person. )
So at 7 am on a rainy solitary Monday morning, The Perks of being a Wallflower playing out loud while I lied on my stomach on the king size bed.
Charlie, the protagonist, reminded me of myself in the very first scene where he writes a letter to ‘a friend’ where he accepts how he hadn’t talked to anyone but his parents the whole summer. He reminded me of myself in many parts of humonic (I just made this word up! Please don’t judge.) emotions and demeanor he carried. The questions he asked, the little that he said, how much he wanted to be accepted. Everything.
I believe we all have a ‘Charlie’ within all of us. There is this need, these coveted desires, this deep dark secret, these several insignificant, teeny experiences that make us who we are.
“I found myself here from the beginning to the end.”
The movie grows on you slow and steady and makes you think, think in a way that only a few can invoke. The last time this happened to me when I watched “Into the Wild”. (That was some classic movie. Must watch). So Charlie is the wallflower because he sees things, he keeps quiet about them and he understands.
We all see things and we understand. This whole world is an island of misfits. We all have missed the basket, we all have kept empty bottles back in the refrigerator, we all have been “below average” sometimes and celebrated it, we all have got completely wasted once, we all have hit someone so hard that our hand almost broke, we are all lonely sometimes, we have all hated our parents sometimes and we might just have been molested as kids.
I was molested too. Once. 2nd grade. Never told anybody about it ever. I know quite a few who were. It’s sick. But it feels good that there is someone you could share the agony with.
Charlie asked Sam If she thought if people knew how crazy she was, no one will ever talk to her? She said “no.” I believe people like crazy. Crazy is simply being you. Your level of crazy. If you can be crazy enough to drive others crazy, and accept your crazy self the way you are, others will too and that’s crazy. haha.
It’s about self worth. The mere fact that you’re human makes you worthy of anything that any other human has. And the cool thing about self worth is that it’s a universal constant. No actions or words change it.
-“Why I and the people I love pick people who treat us like nothing?”
-“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
I had never, in my very eventful life, known this. Or realized this. Ever thought you deserved more in a relationship? Or was it just too comfortable to keep going on as you were too used to the idea oh having the ostensible significant other around? It isn’t as facile as it would seem.
This movie made me laugh, cry and everything I shouldn’t be doing early “last monday of vacations” morning because all you do then is walk around like zombies looking for a loo and lie in bed for hours literally day dreaming about what would go well with the new pair of leggings you bought last night or how soft is soft.
I LOOOOOVED the movie okay. It spoke to me. I think y’all must watch it.
And Imagine dragons’ It’s Time. ❤
Because “We can’t choose where we come from but we can choose where we go from there.”