Have you ever woken up in the morning only to not wanting to do anything at all, just lie down and keep lying down for the eternity to come, the reason being you were feeling obnoxiously fat?
I don’t know if anyone in this world can relate to me or not but I get this feeling a lot. I feel Fat! So disgustingly fat that I can cry my misery out LOUD! This feeling makes me want to curl up in the bed forever and not put my self to display in front of even passing audience of my contrived fat. I don’t feel like dressing up because in my head I am this huge girl from whose body these huge bumps are protruding out from ugly places in plenty and making me look like an amoebic body bereft of humanly shape or figure. It’s yecchy.
So what does one do when such a tragedy emanates in one’s life?
They go run! I run. I run like a pig in the most unearthly hour of the day certainly because I don’t want people to see a humongous conglomeration of flesh and blood maundering with the speed of a tortoise even whilst running.
But this feeling is like a leech. Makes itself home in the heart of your existence and sucks on your peace of mind like you owe it your life. I wish it sucked on my fat though. I wish that feeling a certain way made one lose calories at the speed of light. That would be cool even without them burning away with the speed of light.
So it stays even after one runs so much that moving a mountain seems like an easier task than trying to go run the next day.
The only way to make it go (no guarantee assured!) is to defecate. But if you’re a constipated bitch, sitting in the loo for hours together or hot milk or green tea or honey and lemon won’t help either. YOU SHALL KEEP FEELING FAT FOR DECADES TO COME.
So what does one do to stay aloof from this very depressive feeling? EAT!
Yes eating is the only way out. Preferably very fattening food (because you’re feeling fat anyway so why not just have that beautiful spectrum of fattening food too!)
I personally like to indulge myself with chocolate cakes, OREO SHAKE and cheesy chips with cheesy dips in the comfort of my blanket, of course!
I know how someone can feel fat on a certain day and fall into tears because nothing you wear looks extraordinarily fabulous on you and life seems bleak and drabby. I feel you, bro. But remember, sometimes pretense is the key to being fabulous. So fake it till you make it!
Here is a little sneak peek into those days of feeling fat. \/\/\/\/
^ This is why I’m fat, This is why I’m fat
This is why, This is why
This is why I’m fat…