Waking Life?

I was on the top of a hill a couple of weeks ago. This is how it looked like from up there. Pretty Damn Fly no?

It felt peaceful. There was clarity despite the zillion thoughts going through my head. My intangible experiences met some dead words. My doubts began to unravel in my head with exceptional limpidity.

My Question — What is fear made of?

In the bitter cold of January 2015, I was attending the Service Selection Board (SSB) in Varanasi and discovered how fear was controlling my life and influencing every decision I made. The SSB gives you a whole new perspective on your inner self. The version of you that steps in is warped into an evolved and stronger being.

My head constantly kept evaluating the whys and the hows of what I had been through for hours and days and then in this breakthrough moment I realised we all take life too seriously.

Every decision that we make is majorly commanded by a sheer desire to attain success and that, in the bottom of our hearts, is the only possible outcome from anything we set out to do. Failure is just not an option for us. Want to be a doctor? Spend 7-8 years trying to become one and if towards the end, you realise that all you ever really wanted to do was write and keep write forever.. *DANG* — what a loss. Have you wasted all those years of hard work? what do you do now? Become a Doctor and stay one till your last breath because another path is just not the way to go. BUT WHY? (I am ruling out the possibility of one person pursuing both in this scenario because for most, it’s just too strenuous.)

Our society is plagued with these conventional lifestyles where the choice you make when you’re 16 years old is all can do until you die. We are driven by the desires of a safe and secured future. We are just too scared to choose a different path. It’s always ‘way too late’ for us.

If you ask me, I’d say I am one of them too. Still. It is an riotous situation or state of mind to break from and find the real purpose or live a life free from the shackles of what society considers appropriate.

I am looking for a way out though. I am looking for the strength that I felt when I walked out of the SSB, fizzled out, in that breakthrough moment. I am constantly conditioning my mind to stay happy and be fearless in any situation I face. One must realise that it’s their life and the way they want to spend it, is completely up to them.

Like this guy.

This movie I watched recently talks about the kind of philosophy I have discussed above in a dramatically bizarre fashion in several parts. Keep them minds open and watch it.


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